She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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