yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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