I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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