It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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