Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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