I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's always time for handjobs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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