yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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