you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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