You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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