I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize