I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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