We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize