I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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