for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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