the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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