after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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