So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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