he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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