Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
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I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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