I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize