I am spending my child support on dildos
Is it because I queefed?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize