He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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