they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize