Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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