I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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