Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize