did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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