Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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