Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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