my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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