8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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