He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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