Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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