1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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