he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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