fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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