the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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