You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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