Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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