OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize