I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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