i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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