I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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