he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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