Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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