I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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