So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have post one night stand depression
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