Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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