Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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