i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize